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Malignant Narcissist

 

A malignant narcissist is an abusive person who finds pleasure in lying, manipulating, and using other people in order to get the things that they want.

Malignant narcissism is considered by many to be the most severe type. That’s why it helps to recognize when you have someone with this condition in your life and what to expect from interactions with them. This knowledge can also provide insight into how to deal with them in the healthiest way possible.

 

The following are common characteristics of malignant narcissists:

 

• Preoccupied with fantasies about beauty, brilliance, success, and power

• Unable to handle criticism

• Tendency to lash out if they feel slighted

• Likely to take advantage of others to get what they want

• Overly concerned about their appearance

• Expect to be treated as superior and craves this validation, also known as narcissistic supply

• Lack of empathy for others

• Inflated sense of self and inability to self-regulate

• Have no remorse for hurting others and no interest in apologizing unless it benefits them

• Have an attitude of deserving the best of everything

• Tendency to monopolize conversations and/or mistreat those who they perceive as inferior

• Hidden insecurity and a weak sense of self

• Tendency to blame others for their own bad behaviour

 

Additional signs of malignant narcissism can include:

 

• Seeing the world in black-and-white terms, including seeing others as either friend or foe

• Seeking to win at all costs, leaving a great amount of pain, frustration, and even heartache in their wake

• Not caring about the pain they cause others—or maybe even enjoying it and experiencing it as empowering

• Doing what it takes to protect themselves from loss, inconvenience, or failing to get what they want in any situation.

 

How to Deal With a Malignant Narcissist

 

 

• Put some distance between you and them. Maintaining distance may be challenging as people with narcissistic traits tend to have little respect for boundaries. As a result, they may resent when you try to set and enforce them, but it is healthier for you.

• Don't try to change them and don't expect them to change or you might be disappointed. As a direct result of the symptoms, few people with narcissistic personality disorder recognize the need for treatment and seek help.

• Know that if you challenge them directly, they will likely retaliate. This doesn't mean that you must agree with whatever the person with narcissism asks of you, but you may want to find less confrontational ways to communicate your boundaries or disagreements.

• If you do need to confront the person, try not to do so in front of a large audience. Confronting someone with narcissism in front of others may make them want to save face. It can also cause them to feel more threatened, sparking retaliation.

• Surround yourself with supportive people as much as possible. Use your support group to absorb some of the negativity you may experience with this person.

 

Malignant narcissists lack empathy, demand constant attention, and are only concerned with their own needs. Because of this, malignant narcissists cannot truly love other people. What they might confuse with love, or what their partners might take as love, is just a way for them to pursue their own happiness and fulfil their own desires.